


A Restless Night

by TonakaiShinobi (Act)



Category: Naruto
Genre: (Naruto's age is unspecified), (it's up to u), Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Clothed Sex, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, Grinding, Guilt, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu | Shadow Clone Technique, Kage Bunshin | Shadow Clones, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, No Plot/Plotless, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, One Shot, Oral Sex, Orgasm, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Potentially Underage Drinking, Scent Kink, Self-Indulgent, Sexsomnia, Shame, Sleep Sex, Sleeping Together, Somnophilia, Teasing, possibly underage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-16 04:52:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12335856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Act/pseuds/TonakaiShinobi
Summary: Naruto and Kakashi spend the night in a cramped tent. Naruto's worried about the arrangement; according to Sakura, he's being doing some really weird things in his sleep! But Kakashi comforts him that he'll wake him up if he starts sleep talking or the like.Kakashi does not wake Naruto up, despite a horribly guilty conscious. Kakashi also thinks Naruto needs to start reading better dirty books.The next morning, Kakashi is left to sort his emotions and Naruto is left to sort his...morning affliction, as it were. And the boy is almost caught red-handed, just barely stashing the evidence of his sins before his sensei's return!This would have all been well and good, an awkward but teneble situation, able otherwise to be deferred--except for a sudden turn in the weather forces the duo to lock up in the tent for safety until it passes.Good thing Kakashi doesn't have an especially sensitive nose or anything, right?PWP, KakaNaru





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags! Don't like don't read etc. This is the first, un-beta'd draft, just goin' ahead and throwin' it up on here, Enjoy Y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4/23/18: I have not... forgotten about this fic, I promise. I know how, um, unbelievably cliche an excuse it is, but this binch in college and school's been wild. Two more chapters on the way! I'm blown away and honored at each and every kudos this STILL gets, even in its incomplete form. Thanks for your patience, y'all!

"Wait, only one tent?"

"Maa, unless you're hiding another one somewhere on your person, so it would seem," Kakashi blinked, "is that... a problem?"

"N-no!, " Naruto sputters back, the reply a bit too fast and a bit too insistent to be read as wholly sincere. "Let's go ahead and pitch th--er, get the tent set up."

The older man's visible eye lingers on the younger for a moment; the apprehension told not the whole truth, but more than was offered, but he had the grace to let that particular sleeping dog lie. The duo were on a minor mission, information reconnaissance--inclimate weather prevented standard information transmission, storms too erratic to risk sending hawks (or genin, or most chunin). And while they were two members short of what Konoha considered an acceptable team composition, Konoha also granted special exceptions to shinobi of these two's particular calibur. So, Kakashi and Naruto staked out a campsite on a cool autumn night, wind slicing in intermittent howls and thunder grumbling along with it, stirring eddies of fallen leaves and a chorus of moaning, wind-whipped trees.

  
"Here?," Naruto pointed with one hand, other holding himself, indicating a small clearing adjacent to a sheer cliffside.

"Good idea, " Kakashi replied; the facade would act as a very effective windbreak and protection from debris and limbs. He rifled through his tools to produce a scroll, breaking its seal and pulling a bundled tent out; he untied its bounds while Naruto wordlessly took the cue to clear the chosen site of errant debris on the ground, gathering sticks and discarding them carelessly. The tent's assembly was a simple tast; four pegs secured with four good stomps into the ground, flexible rods slotting into divets, the light canvas hitching upwards--a task repeated a thousand times with calm, thoughtless motions.

  
The meandering clouds prevented a strong sense of the passage of time, but the ever-darkening skies announced the end of the day for the two. They stood looking at the tent, Naruto's arms akimbo, both in moderate consideration.

"You think we should go ahead and turn in for the night?" asked Naruto.

"Mm, probably for the best."

"You wanna sleep in shifts for lookout duty?"

Kakashi stretched, "Do you think that's necessary? I've been paying attention, I haven't seen any evidence we're being tracked."

"...d-don't you think it'd be safer, Kaka-sensei?" he countered.

He cocked an eyebrow, "Superficially? We're not on a dangerous mission, the weather is bad, we're not protecting any particularly vital information... while the protection would be comforting, it's not zero sum, it's at the expense of sleep... wouldn't you rather just rest through the night?"

There was a pause, but the blond continued, "...if you're that sure it's fine then, yeah, it would be nice to sleep through the night."  
Kakashi heard the odd apprehension present within his compatriot's voice; it wasn't like him to be so insistently recalcitrant to the idea of extra sleep. He shifted, deciding to gently probe, "Does something have you concerned, Naruto?"

"No! Um, no, it's not safety or anything, I'm sure we're fine, I've just, um.... been having some sleep issues, y'know? Guess I'm just being weird about sleep, don't worry about it," the boy replied, a glowing smile defiantly cutting through the murkiness of the encroaching dusk in reassurance.

The copy-nin replies to the smile with a signature smile of his own, wholly through his eye, reaching over and patting Naruto's shoulder, "Don't worry about it," he tapped his nose, "it's quite a feat to sneak up on this old shinobi, even when he's asleep. We'll be fine.  
Naruto scoffed, "Good thing I've got a guard dog, eh?"

Kakashi cut a glance, somewhere between playful and exhausted, and added, "Lucky you."

The boy gave a smile, a wily one that said Naruto was just as satisfied as Kakashi was frustrated with the quip, letting himself in the tent in time, the older man following, zipping the flap behind the two.

Both sat cross-legged on a makeshift sleeping mat, cramped quarters somehow emphasizing both Kakashi's height and Naruto's lack thereof. Lazily, the elder begins peeling off his outerwear, flack jacket unzipped and folded, undershirt following close behind, utility pouch untied from his thigh and set beside it. Naruto watched, almost seeming to wait for cues from him to proceed, actions mimicking and yielding. The boy tugged his jacket off, sleeve by sleeve, untying his own utility pouch in a relieved way, tossing his jacket behind him and the pouch on top of it.

The copy-nin reached into his tools once more, grabbing his jacket at the same time--he produced a small parchment. He notched the paper six quick times, explaining, "...a timed seal. It's just a little flare--a kids' toy, really--but, " he paused, tying the tag on a tine supporting the tent, "...when you add the seal, it makes a very effective alarm clock. It'll light in six hours."

"That's... cool, but also, why not... just use an alarm clock?"

He smiled, "Being resourceful is one of the most valuable skills a shinobi can possess, Naruto-kun."

Naruto paused.

"So you forgot it."

"I _absolutely_ forgot it."

  
Naruto's reply was strictly in his expression--but it said plenty, chiding the man, following to stretch his legs, knees bent, arms behind him pushing him up. Kakashi stretched on his side, gathering his jacket as a makeshift pillow (Naruto did the same; _Good idea_ , he thought), settling his head atop it, rolling away from his companion.  
"But get some rest. See you in the morning."

Naruto remained seated for a moment, plaintive before finally spitting out with a nervous stutter, "So. A couple weeks back me and Sakura were on a mission and we slept in the same tent and I woke up from her punching me because I was apparently saying--and uh, doing, doing--some reeeeal weird things in my sleep and that's what's been up um so, heads up, if... if I say or do anything funny, I'm sleep talking, I promise seriously it's not me okay goodnight aah."

He gave Kakashi no time to reply, immediately flopping to his side, facing away from him and curled into a nervous ball; the older man blinked, looking over his shoulder at his shrunken companion, bemused.

_Mystery solved, eh._

"...Understood, Naruto. Don't worry. I know it's not you, I'll wake you up if you do anything," he offered, comforting intonation, a smile and a voice that Naruto wants to place as vaguely paternal--but he didn't complain, even to himself, replying only with a glance, a smile and a nod.

And just as soon, Naruto was asleep, snoring softly.

Kakashi wished sleep would come for him so easily. It never did. A litany of life experiences no single person should bear the weight of permanently marred his dreams, trauma robbing him of sound sleep for as long as he could remember.

He was used to it, but it didn't stop the envy, nor did it stop the thoughts.

  
He lied there, doing his best to focus on the here and now, on his immediate surroundings, on this place with no ill will or wretched memories. He thought--of Naruto.

He often did.

  
The lightest sigh parted his lips, through his mask. He was so thankful for the interminable ray of sunshine he was so lucky to know--Minato's son, his devoted student; the thoughts brought with them a swell of indistinct emotions. As they always did, and as always, he kept them at arm's length within him. The happiness was foreign, the warmth and sweetness overwhelming as a bite of pure sugar after months without it--it was so much to hold, to grapple, and so again he tried to gently shelve the emotions, to be addressed in a more appropriate season.

  
A more appropriate season, indeed. So many seasons, like the near-decade that gulfed Naruto's age and his own, he thought. Again.

His affections were platonic, right? The man wasn't a creep, it was paternal, guarding, lo--

No. He stopped. Another season, later, these thoughts would be opened, later later later.

  
The old dog of a man shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, but none relieved the intangible discomfort. He heaved a deep breath, trying to calm himself--much to the opposite effect, he soon found with a pained groan.

Kakashi explained it many times before. Scent is an interesting thing. One's nose picks up the molecules released off of things in the air, but things can encourage their release, such as heat--hence warm foods typically smelling so aromatic. It's also the principle behind putting colognes and perfumes on areas of strong blood circulation, such as the wrists, the neck or behind the ears. Hot blood coursing through these points make the smell effervesce that much stronger.

This principle extended to any other part of the anatomy that would, perhaps, have blood coursing through it.

He could close his eyes, he could muffle his ears, but there was all but no way to turn off that bloodhound sense of smell the man possessed. So, there he lie, trying with all his might to ignore the rising, faint musk in the air, that horribly familiar scent of arousal clearly emanating from his comrade, deep and acrid, sweat and warmth rolling over him in a way he would never, ever, ever admit he enjoyed.

It was only natural, he told himself, people get hard in their sleep, he told himself. But the spectre haunted him in an unignorable way, feeling those heady thoughts trying to slip their way from his id back into his conscious, a little goblin trying to let itself in.

He paused to think. After a moment, he remembered a vial of peppermint oil within his toolkit, for situations exactly like this; a few dabs beneath the nose, and the smell of peppermint overwhelms any others--exactly what Kakashi needed. Relieved by a solution in sight, he shifted, bending at the waist to reach into the pouch near his feet.

Kakashi didn't even really register that he brushed into Naruto; the older man's hip simply pressed into his companion's arm as he turned.

  
And yet.

In an automatic motion, Naruto stirred, groaning just a bit under his breath, rolling over and cradling his former sensei's hips with his forearm.

  
"Mmm... oh, _hey there_ baby..."

  
Kakashi froze.

_Seriously._

Unmoving, he looked down to the mop of blond beside him, the boy's arm around him. His eyes were still closed; at the realization, he couldn't help but chuckle a little at the absurdity of his behavior.

"Naruto, you're sleep-tal--"

"Shhhhh," he continued, words unfazing, "d-do you wanna... y'know, do something?"

_For goodness' sake._

"Naruto, you're asl--"

"I-I'm not! Sweetie, shh, just-just let me..."

Naruto's hands began wandering of their own accord, browsing, searching over Kakashi's still-concealed torso, probing fingers wandering over his chest; he couldn't move an inch, or rather, he wouldn't _dare_. The older man's hand darted towards the younger's, almost grabbing his wrist, but just before he did, the jinchuriki took a lewd grope of a pec of his, pulling with it a shameful gasp.

"..ooh,  _fuck_ you've got nice tits, honey, I'm gonna..."

The thoughts _This boy must be reading some really bad dirty books_ , _I swear_ , and _No wonder Sakura clocked him_ flicked through his head concurrently, internally rolling his eyes at the ridiculous dirty talk spilling from his lips.

But he didn't wake Naruto.

He told Naruto he would wake him if this happened. He told himself he was going to wake Naruto if this happened.

But there he lie, deer in the headlights, eyes desperately calling out for a help he didn't understand. Naruto's snaking fingers found a nipple through his top, to his delight, and he didn't ask before pinching it tautly--nor did Kakashi stop him. The older man gasped, one hand shooting up to muffle himself, sounds leaving his body wholly without his permission.

  
The blond rolled over, bumping his crown into his sensei's back, arm remaining around his waist a he almost-spooned him, grumbling more before coming to a rest. The actions stopped. He seemed to doze right back off, the charade ending as quick as it began, leaving poor Kakashi in a frozen daze. He held fast, unmoving, trying to make heads or tails of the flurry of thoughts clouding his perception; his harried breathing didn't help the task. After a pause, he let his nerves relax, if only a little--brushing against Naruto again.

Kakashi would quickly learn that moving, physical contact triggered Naruto's condition.

Again the boy grumbled and shifted, Kakashi pausing and going taut in reaction. This also, unfortunately, brought the erection he was very ashamed of to the forefront of his mind, his cock straining against his loose bottoms in an obvious tent as his back straightened. His panicked mind tried to rationalize this at a record pace, that of course sexual contact would arouse him, that it's not _Naruto specifically_ that worked him up so, but rather the action in the abstract--that any set of hands caressing him as such would have resulted in the same hardon.

But it wasn't _any_ set of hands. It was Naruto's.

He felt himself twitch at the thought.

"Ah, there's... there's that fat ass I love, bring it back sweetie, eheh..."

  
The old man dared a look over his shoulder; his companion's eyes were still closed and slack--he really was still asleep. But sleeping hands lazily grabbed Kakashi's hips with surprising deftness, his skin hypersensitive even through his clothes, pulling him back a bit against Naruto's hips, against his _Oh my lord that's--he's--_ against his hardness. He could feel it. He could feel it. Kakashi barely managed to suppress squirming, and failed to suppress a genuine moan, a quiet moan of years of anticipation ( _wait what no)_ , with his former student's eager member resting on his ass.

He wouldn't move. He wouldn't dare move, not to save his life.

The copy-nin's mind was only blaring static and compulsive _desire_ , wordless and fiery. The sleeping boy let out a soft sigh, hips jutting and shifting in shallow, lazy strokes, grinding his cock against his companion, rhythm nonexistent. Kakashi could feel himself getting harder, could feel his manhood aching in his bottoms as he still did nothing more than hold fast--and try, _try_ to conjure coherent thought to come up with a plan of action. But, each time he would try and pause to think, think about how to wake him up without embarrassing him and possibly ruining their entire relationship, that stiffness jutted against his rear again, shattering his thoughts in a breath and a whimper.

One thought finally pealed through his mind, however.

_why won't you just admit you like it_

He groaned as quietly as he could to himself; Naruto replied with a barely-there chuckle and cooed moan (apparently whatever was going on in his somnambula painted him as a _very smooth operator_ ), muttering something unintelligible but obviously very, very sexual under his breath, motions continuing sleepily and erratic. Kakashi allowed himself the dignity of one of his hands in front of his mouth to muffle it, practically grabbing his cheeks on either side. His internal battle raged on;

_Because I am... I am not a creep, I'm not, I'm...._

His own mind, somehow a different internal voice, volleyed;

_Call it whatever you want Hatake, you know you've wanted a piece of him for longer than you're gonna admit_

  
He groaned--at the truth in the words, at the wonderful, soft friction against his ass, at the guilt and shame bearing down on him more and more every second he let Naruto continue humping him like a dog, stomach in a Gordian knot of nerves and delight.

_you know you wish he'd just go ahead and shove it in you_

He huffed; his free hand gripped a fistful of his undershirt, just to give him leverage.

_Pervert pervert pervert... he's... my old student, he's so much youn--_

Naruto's hands began wandering again; Kakashi was so absorbing in chastizing himself, he hadn't noticed, but the sudden return of a slack hand on his chest certainly alerted him (with a whimper).

"Ahh... how's my li'l slut like it, hehe?"

 ** _VERY MUCH_** , his mind reflexively volleyed to no one but himself. His words were still sleep-drunk (yet intoxicating to the copy-nin, no matter how over-the-top and silly they were, hearing such filth from the boy's mouth was a large part of his current... predicament), as were his motions, and as much as he performatively would protest to himself--his actions certainly seemed consistent with someone trying to remain relatively still and quiet... as to not wake Naruto up.

So that his actions would continue. So that he would keep going.

If you would have asked the man if he noticed his own hand traveling south, Kakashi probably would have told you he didn't--and he'd be telling the truth. Somehow, through some localized dissociation, his arm genuinely moved on its own, from a fist on his undershirt, to snake its way beneath his waistband and-- _finally_ \--his grip cranked around his own shaft, his own hips bucking into his hand at the touch his body had been so thirsty for. For a moment he had another moral crisis about the ethics involved in touching himself while this happened, but he also, more convincingly, would remind himself 'in for a penny, in for a pound.'

His cock was thrumming eagerly under his fingertips--he made delicate, shallow motions, doing all he could to minimize his actions himself. Kakashi's shaky grip capped his swollen ( _so hard, when was the last time you were this hard Hatake_ ) head, pre spilling wanton over his hand already, and massaged it in little grips and circular passes, pumping that little of his length in his hand. While his entirety was demanding attention, he felt satisfied with this compromise, huffs of breath pushing his mask out and persevering in the most silence, aided by his other palm, he could muster with the endurance of the soldier that he was. Naruto still moved, unconscious grip cycling on the man's hips weakly, aimless thrusts missing his ass as often as they hit.

  
The silver-haired man didn't notice his hungry body moving on its own, either; his own hips rolled in their best attempt to match the boy's jabs, tiny little motions bleeding through beyond his control. Still he chided himself, eyes winced closed, _filthy old man, 'it's not like that!' you little liar, you've wanted this so long, imagine how cute he'd be spread beneath you, imagine how cute he'd be on top of you, what would people think_ , each quip, each phrase sending a jolt through him, another squeeze in his gut, another throb in his cock.  
"Y-yeah, that's right, you... like that..." Naruto muttered, end of the sentence trailing to sleeping nothing.

Much to Kakashi's guilt-ridden, wretched chagrin, Naruto's gentle motions trailed off in a rapid decrescendo, deeper sleep seeming to seize him. His desperate mind whined, thirsty, cycling his hand on his drooling cock. He was close, damnit. Thoughtless, he jut his own hips back in a deliberate motion, disregarding the risk in waking the boy, bumping right up against his partner's enduring erection--and sure enough, that was enough to rouse the beast again.

"Oh, y-you want... it in you? Want me to shove my cock in your cunt?"

The older man sighed sweetly, going to far as to allow himself to mouth the word "yes," disallowing any noise but replying in kind. The blond grumbled, nestling his head against Kakashi's back deeper, grunting with the return of his erratic actions, hips rolling once more, stiff cock probing his partner's ass.

A shudder overwhelmed Kakashi, a sudden sweetness in his blood and a pressure in his stomach rising--he was close. He was going to cum. His mind mewled this fact to no one in particular, hoping in some way to psychicly communicate this to the pretend image of Naruto he was imagining, wanted to cry it out to the world. His desperate cock in hand was throbbing all the more, leaky and full, suppressing the shivers that tried to overtake his body.

Naruto sighed, the spectre of sleep moving one of his hands from his old sensei's waist down, down until it found its target--with a satisfied mutter, he found Kakashi's ass, and a deft hand took a big, deliberate grope of one of his cheeks in rhythm with a forward push of his hips.

That was all Kakashi needed. He was over the precipice. The sudden squeeze, the friction, it was too much; it took all the old man had, but he shoved his impulse to cry out, to _moan_ , deep within him as the wave of warmth and pleasure drenched him, cum spilling from his tip in bursts into his palm, jet after jet, doing his best to cup his mess tidily--but the sheer volume was making that a difficult task. He rolled his own hips, milking himself in his grip, hazy vision and ringing in his ears.

He scoot back from Naruto, just a bit--who initially replied with blind, searching hands and a wordless, confused mutter, but his absence seemed to be enough to disengage the boy's... condition, hips coming to rest, the rest of him following soon thereafter. As he began to calm down from his orgasm, the... logistics of the remainder of the night made themselves aware in his mind once again. With a grim delicacy, he opened his waistband with the hand initially muffling himself, the cum-soaked other hand withdrawing from his bottoms with great care. He was immediately grateful for two things; the fact he _definitely_ had tissues or napkins of some variety among his tools, and that he was the only member of this duo with a sense of smell of his caliber. This tent was going to smell like sex for years for the poor man.

His toolkit was, by some miracle, within his reach--he fished a... touniquet? _It'll do_ , out, wiped the evidence of his misdeeds off his soiled hand, and rose quietly to his knees to discard it. He reached to the tent flap, and attempted to unzip it the mathematically least amount he could get away with to throw the proverbial murder weapon out of the space. Five or so zipper ticks, and he could squirm his hand through and toss it away; the storm would take care of the rest.

"Mmm... Ka... kashi?" a sleepy voice offered. The so-referenced immediately froze, slowly then turning to look.

His eyes were bleary, but open--he was _definitely_ awake now. Ah.

He choked a reply out, "...yes?"

Naruto wiped his eyes with his foreams, continuing, "Is... everything fine? Is someone out there?"

By some cosmic blessing--he was certainly not _acting_ like he was aware of what just transpired.

"...Everything is fine, Naruto, I was a bit warm. I was cracking the tent for a bit of fresh air, but... it's going to rain, so," he ended, zipping the tent back closed.

"Oh, alright."

"Mhmm. Go back to sleep, Naruto-kun," the honorific now felt dirty rolling off his tongue, like he'd soiled it forever.

The blond offered only a nod, flopping back down and rolling opposite of Kakashi, facing the other wall of the tent. With a relieved breath, the copy-nin sat back on his knees, then rolled over, trying to settle, to see if sleep was possible. And as it would turn out, it was. Who knows if it was the orgasm, the actions, anything, but the sandman came merciful and swift for the old man, dozing off hard and quick.

  
*****

The smell of burning sulfur and the sound of a gentle crackle roused both parties, but Kakashi first. He groaned, sitting upright and supporting himself on his hands, having a moment of peace before memories of the prior night rushed back into his awareness.

 _...Ah_.

For all his waiting and procrastination, for all his desperate attempts at deference, it would seem another season had arrived for the man. He certainly had some thinking to do.

Naruto quickly roused too, leaving him little alone time for any reflection--he grumbled and yawned, arms outstretched and hunched.

"Good morning. Huh, your makeshift alarm thingy actually worked."

"...I'm glad to know you had full confidence in it."

Naruto snickered. He was hunched away from his prior sensei--he offered a bit of a frustrated groan.

"Did you sleep okay?" Kakashi asked, sheepishly, partially for his own peace of mind.

"Yeah! Uh, mostly. Had some uh... pretty crazy dreams, though."

Kakashi swallowed, "Did you now?"

"Mm. Yeah," his bright blue eyes bounced to Kakashi for a single probing moment before avoidantly dashing away, "uh, don't worry about it."

There was a moment of silence, but the copy-nin decided to brave a question.

"Were they good dreams?"

"Yeah! Yeah, no don't worry, I wasn't having nightmares, just... um, wild dreams, eheh."

They weren't bad dreams. Kakash would take these four words and tuck them somewhere in the back of his mind, another piece of evidence for that grand puzzle he still shied away from. _They weren't bad dreams._

He replied only with a noise, before noticing that the blond still wouldn't face him, that his back was turned and hunched. For a moment, he feared discomfort with him, until he braved a quick sniff.

_Aaah. I suppose he never got relief last night, did he? Poor thing._

"Well, " Kakashi offered, cheerfully, "I'm going to go freshen up. You should stay here to guard our supplies--we're fairly secluded, so I doubt there would be thieves, but as it were. I'll be gone about twenty or so minutes, okay? Then you can go to the river."

Naruto paused, combing over the sentence, "...about twenty minutes?"

"Mhmm! And I'll be sure to announce myself when I'm returning--I wouldn't want you thinking I was an enemy."

Kakashi smiled broad, getting on his knees to exit the tent, hoping that his poor, oblivious old student could piece together what to do with the very specific timeframe, insistence he remain here alone, promise of seclusion, and assurance that there would be no surprise interruptions. Taking care not to glance over him--he knew the boy was hunched for a reason--he gave Naruto a hearty slap on his back and a smile, repeating once more, "See you in twenty minutes, Naruto."

Kakashi unzipped the tent, crawling out, but not before Naruto called after him, a tone of indecipherable gratitude, "Twenty minutes, Kaka-sensei!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm already anticipating some people commenting on my depiction of sexsomnia being too over the top or cheesy or outlandish, and all I have to say is: upon what authority are u saying that. I'm genuinely asking. I'm basing Naruto's actions and dialogue directly on my IRL boyfriend of ~5 years, who uh. Has moderate-severe sexsomnia. Bless his heart he says and does the most absurd things I Am Writing From Life I Promise I Love Him But He Is Ridiculous
> 
> EDIT: whoa!! Thanks so much for the 100+ kudos and the super-supportive comments?! I Genuinely was NOT expecting it ;A; because there's been some expressed interest (and I had an idea as to an Area for it), I'm actually working on remixing this to be a much longer story -- note the new chapter countt ,':3c!! buckle up y'all


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi takes his leave to the river to bathe--in some cold, cold water. Naruto takes the hint that he has time to relieve himself; plenty of time, all things being honest--that being the case, he decides to have a little fun with "himself." But, Kakashi's reflection and Naruto's endeavors are both cut short by a sudden worsening of the weather (much to Naruto's abject horror).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BACK BAYBEEEE
> 
> Please mind the tags! THEY HAVE CHANGED SINCE CHAPTER 1.
> 
> I legitimately was planning on that first chapter being a one-and-done but... people expressed a desire for it to be longer, and I had some ideas as to where the story could go (spoiler: the story is only going to get hornier and my kinks only get worse from here), so wellp, turns out there's gonna be five chapters, not one! This is gonna change the tone/content of the story a bit, but it's still definitely just Kakashi and Naruto with unresolved feelings stuck in a tent [: but if you're just here for Sexsomnia Shenanigans, that first chapter is the "story" you're after.
> 
> This chapter is far, far more Naruto based than Kakashi. Don't worry, this doesn't indicate the trajectory of the story or anything; it's just a coincidence. I needed Naruto to perform some pretty specific actions to set up further plot points that are going to occur, and frankly, since they were Horny Actions, why not like. go whole hog and Write Them Out lol.
> 
> As always thanks so, so much for reading me werds here, every comment is treasured i love you stay safe namaste

Kakashi lingered for only a moment after zipping the tent behind himself; there was the smallest temptation to--well, to do something, but it was a dark and quiet and sneering sort, the sort he was used to ignoring. As usual, that little something was quietly shelved, and in a few sweeping bounds, he was off to the river.

It was only about a mile or so away; a five minute commute for a man of such abilities; he hopped and wove through branches effortlessly, kicking off in seamless bounds and automatic leaps. And in a way, the fact that it was so rote frustrated Kakashi.

If only he had to focus on where he was going. Perhaps that could occupy some of his thoughts.

Ah, to be so lucky.

_Ah, Naruto. What a mess. What a mess, indeed, Hatake._

Small kisses of cool rainwater accosted his exposed forehead; the weather remained overcast from the night prior, showing no signs of relenting. Not that Kakashi was complaining; though there was, naturally, an ulterior motive to the _amount_ of time he declared to spend at the river, the _reason_ was honest. Especially after, ahem, the prior night.

Whether through river or rain, the man needed a bath. A nice, cool, _cold_ bath

*****

_Twenty minutes? Twenty minutes. Okay, twenty minutes._

Naruto repeated the two words to himself internally over and over as he leered towards the zipped tent flap, head tilted, face scrunched in meticulous concentration, ears tracing the muted footsteps of his prior sensei. He heard nothing.

Still, he waited. He waited a good thirty or so seconds, hearing only the gentle pitter-patter of oncoming rain on his shelter, and nothing else. Kakashi was stealthy, but he heard the man no longer, nor felt his familiar chakra.

He was good and en route to the river.

Feeling safe, he released a heroic sigh, one that seemed withheld for days, a hand snapping down and idly pawing at his insistent erection through his bottoms. Geez, horny dreams were _one_ thing, but the prior evening was _something else_. Naruto groaned, gripping and tugging aimlessly out of idle instinct rather than specific intention, ruminating for a bit.

It's not like it was the first time he'd dreamt of Kakashi _like that_ , far from it--but that was certainly the first time he had done so with such _clarity_. So _vividly_. Naruto huffed, allowing his hand to wriggle into his bottoms and around his demanding flesh, shuddering aloud at his own touch. _Fuck, I musta been pent up since, like... last night_ , he grumbled in his head, tugging a few exploratory tugs of his still-concealed length. His cock was sensitive and throbbing already, pre (new and old) beading out of his tender tip, manhood practically jumping in his hand with his aroused twitches.

He could remember it like it was reality. Kakashi snickering, leaning in and whispering something in his ear--something silly and cliche--" _Why don't you let your old teacher teach you a few new things,"_ perhaps--but nothing in that sultry growl could be anything other than heart-stoppingly seductive to the boy. It was a longstanding crush, one he would never admit to anyone on pain of death, but a frustrating one that never relented for even a day despite this. And perhaps more; he looked to the older man with unyielding deference, with the admiration of a parishioner towards a God, a breathless devotion, one that no force could threaten, mortal or ethereal.

He never paid it that much mind or agony; of course he loved Kaka-sensei. Right? If anything, the dreadfully predictable _crush_ was the embarrassing part. _Shamefully_ embarrassing.

_Ugh_.

He grumbled and huffed more, supporting himself upright with one hand and allowing shallow strokes with the other, pausing only to shimmy his waistband mid-thigh to allow himself freedom from the cottony prison, cock standing proud. His mind flicked back to the dream; that song of a voice coaching his inexperienced hands over Kakashi's toned torso, fingertips etching their thirsty way along his heaving muscles, an authoritative tone that Naruto was intimately familiar with over years of training singing the praises of his erotic efforts. He remembered his sensei climbing in his lap, and--he paused, gut tensing in premature pleasure. Too soon, not yet; his entire grip snapped off of himself, his member dancing with its throbbing even with his hand's departure.

Regaining a bit of composure, he recounted how long it had been since--ugh, he grimaced a bit remembering the real-life counterpart to the doppelganger of Kakashi in his slumber--the copy-nin took his leave. About two minutes or so? With a quiet reflection, catching his breath, he figured he had about fifteen minutes of safe time left to his own devices to spend in any which tawdry way he so desired. And--while Naruto's hormones were lively, _enthusiastically_ so, his refractory period was nothing like orgasm-multiple-times-in-fifteen-minutes quick, and he was astutely aware of exactly how close the curtain was to falling, as it were.

There wasn't any reason to have his fun end so quickly, now was there?

A burnished blush stained his cheeks; still he felt no foreign chakra signatures around him, and heard nothing but the rhythm of the rain. He was, by all accounts, almost certainly the only person around for a few miles.

A shaky hand raised to meet its partner in a sign.

There wasn't any reason to have his fun be so _conventional_ , either, was there?

Naruto muttered a jutsu beneath his breath.

*****

Kakashi's hands, signing in union, lowered after a few rhythmic motions; a proximity detection jutsu. The area was remote, and the weather lousy, but it was an easy preventative measure, especially against any, say, nosy students of his that would love to try and see his face.

_Though he's likely.... fairly well preoccupied at the moment, all things considered_ , he thought.

He stood before a meandering, lazy river, the waterway splitting the forest trees like a knife, water trundling over soft sands and only a couple feet deep at this junction. Grabbing either side of his undershirt, he unfurled the apparel off his form, flinching in reflex to the cool air and uninhibited rain on his now-exposed cheeks and chin, the lightest of tan lines bisecting his face (creating a line between pale and _extremely_ pale). He paused to fold his shirt tidily, then pants slid down thick thighs shortly thereafter, folded and joining the shirt. A theretofore concealed small towel (naturally, Kakashi always knew where his towel was at), one he had hastily tucked into his waistband, draped over his clothes in a meager attempt to keep them at least a little drier. Kakashi stood naked as the day he was born as he strode into the cool waters, sands swirling at his feet in little eddies to be carried off by swift currents.

The man flinched as he proceeded deeper, about waist-deep; the water was _frigid_. Then again, he coughed, looking down at himself, such temperature conditions were exactly what he needed at the moment.

He was safe and alone, the water was calming, the mission easy--all added up to a frustrating lack of distraction for the copy-nin. There was only one place for his nervous mind to rest.

Naruto.

Cupped hands splashed and rubbed water on his war-torn body, a despondent acceptance within his thoughts.

_When I was in ANBU, when they were training me to be an assassin... he was born. He was an infant._

He heaved a sigh.

_Minato-sama didn't say as much to me directly but... I suspect he's watching over me and hoping I take good care of his son._

A splash of water.

_Hah. Some "good care" you're taking of him, lecher,_ he scolded _._

_Everyone already suspects me a pervert, why... must my impulses confirm them as correct._

_Lords. What a mess, what a mess_.

Both hands brought a splash of water over the man's silver crown, drenching his hair and causing it to cascade in front of his weary face. Monotony and rhythm--from the rain, from the wind, from the river, from his thoughts--allowed his mind to meander with such dreadful ease. He remembered the intense pride at seeing the boy become a genin, at seeing him grow and improve, at witnessing his constant, unflappable determination; he admired Naruto so.

He grumbled.

He remembered helping him train with such ferocity, a beautiful sunny day and a beautiful sunny student--remembered the jinchuuriki's naked chest heaving as a waterfall pounded over his toned form, the gasps of breath from the exhausted student leading the rivulets down himself.

He remembered staring. He remembered hoping no one would notice.

Kakashi felt a gentle stirring within himself; looking down, he sent a splash of freezing water onto his face, muttering aloud to his own anatomy, "Settle down, you."

He couldn't help but recall that look of utter disgust that day when Naruto so misinterpreted his intentions; he recoiled in seeming repulsion. "It's not like that, it's not like that!," his voice then was so pleading, desperate.

_What a mess, what a mess. Hah, holding on to this stubborn fantasy in light of evidence like that--what are the chances he's even... well. Oriented your direction. You have to quell this ridiculous dream, Hatake._

A lazy grumble of thunder heralded with it an increased tempo in the rain; Kakashi looked up. The sky darkened while he was bathing. _I should probably hurry_ , he thought to himself.

*****

" 'Ahh, get away! Gross!!', heheh, this lady doth protest way the hell too much, doesn't she?," Naruto's clone, at his back, playfully chided before nibbling the original's ear. The original shinobi lie recumbent against the shadow clone, his back to the copy's chest, the clone's hands playfully tugging Naruto's shirt up and his bottoms down, dragging fingertips over an exposed stomach.

"Geez, can't I even catch a break from _myself_?, " Naruto protested in a soft voice between gentle huffs, quiet moans matching his copy's movements.

"You love it."

"Well. _You_ would know, " Naruto added with a small reluctance.

Naruto employed his excessive charkra and aptitude at creating shadow clones for all sorts of manners--including this sort. Masturbation was lovely, but imagination can only go so far as to imitating another person helping you with your pleasure--there was nothing quite like _actually_ having a partner, especially one that knows all of one's particular kinks and buttons. He didn't do so with much frequency; it was the sort of action saved for special nights or particularly intense, ahem, desires.

This was, naturally, the sort of occasion that called for one.

"Y'know, we probably shouldn't dawdle," the clone said, sliding away from Naruto and slipping around to his front, crawling gracelessly on his hands and knees, "It won't be _too_ much longer 'til _Kaaaaka-sensei_ is back," he chuckled, rising to his knees and holding the original's hips playfully.

"Seriously, do you have to--"

"Unless you _want_ to get caught, heheh?," the clone playfully winked.

"Oh my Lords I--"

"Here," the clone pulled back a beat, adjusting himself in a few quick motions; hitching the collar of his jacket just over his nose, pulling his hitai-itae over an eye, and doing his damndest to look lazily disinterested; he spoke in imitative, lower pitch, "Maa, would it help ya hurry if I did this?"

" ** _Seriously how the fuck does anyone put up with me I can barely handle me_** ," Naruto groaned loudly.

His clone only laughed, tugging his collar down just far enough to expose his lips and leaning in for a neck kiss, punctuated with a light nibble; it drew a groan from the vocal boy. The chiding was known to be mutually acceptable, despite superficial protesting. He pat Naruto's head with one hand, the other reaching down to fish his cock out of his bottoms in a lackadaisical manner; the clone smirked and continued, "You love it and we both know it. And I know what else you love. C'mon, don't keep us waitin' here, " a dark gaze flicked downwards, "it's not gonna suck itself~," intonation sing-songy.

Naruto gave no pause before shuddering loudly on his way down to his compatriot's lap, barely nodding as his only reply. He buried his face in his clone's lap, arms wrapping around his waist and holding on tight to his pronounced hips, the flaxen fluff of his hair obscuring the clone's view, exercising no grace or coy foreplay before burying his bone deep and eager in his lips. Naruto's equipment was by no means monstrous; if anything, it was tidy, neat, modest--nothing to insult or be ashamed of, and if anything, it made the act of taking all of his meat in his own mouth at once a simpler task.

"Oooh, _fuck_ , Naruto...," his clone groaned, rolling hips pressing his length deeper into the original's clinging lips, swollen head rubbing eager against the back of his throat. The clone panted and groaned at the boy's thirsty swallows and little bobs, hot lips pressed flush against the root of his clone's cock. His tongue lapped and swirled, finding familiar leverage around his own flesh, happily drinking the pre he so freely offered.

"Such an eager mouth, hahh...," the clone cooed, "y-you should probably slow down, okay?"

Naruto pulled his puffy lips and sweaty face back for a moment, just far enough to look up at his proverbial reflection and ask, faintly indignant, " _Why_."

His clone winked with a mischievous smile, a hand reaching down and sweeping a string of spit off of the corner of Naruto's mouth, "You're a great little cocksucker and it's getting me _really_ close _really_ fast and we _both_ know that this is not _all_ you want right now."

In record time, the original Naruto's complexion flushed a deep red while his embarrassed eyes dashed away, lips tight in an indignant way, still hunched in his clone's lap, the copy of his own cock pushed against his cheek and thrumming along. He offered nothing; neither confirmation nor denial.

"C'mon," the clone said, scooting back, cock glistening and bobbing with his movements; he turned on his knees to Naruto's tool pouch, rifling in it, "We both _obviously_ know your horny ass always has lube with you."

Naruto choked a bit, a kneejerk indignant reaction given no voice, rising from his elbows to sit on his shins per the absence of the lap he was resting in; he began to say something--but he knew it was futile; this was, quite literally, all just introspection, a discussion with himself. And well, his clone hadn't been wrong on a single point yet, all things considered.

Weakly, Naruto countered, "Won't th-that be... messy...?"

His clone said, "Aren't you about to bathe anyway...?," plain and flat.

Naruto didn't want to admit he had a point, but, well.

There was an impulse to protest, but even he knew not from whence it came; his clone offered no heeding at all, finding the so-mentioned tube. The was an audible _click_ of the opening cap, a pause, and then a second click; his clone, shuddering at the cool gel he stroked over his length, chirped, "Catch," giving Naruto only a moment to comply, succeeding despite this. He held the re-sealed bottle, but took no further action with it.

His clone continued, "That was what, five or so minutes? We've got time, but you probably shouldn't waste too much of it, y'know, just in case," he chuckled, crawling back to the real McCoy, one hand still on his member, "why don't you go ahead and warm yourself up for us?"

"Fuck," Naruto muttered, taking his own cues through performative indignance, globbing a dab of lube onto two fingers before sealing the tube once more and tossing it back to the doppelgangar (who took the clue to return it to its home in his toolkit). That hand slipped silently between Naruto's slightly-spread thighs, using his thumb to hitch his soft testicles aloft of his entrance, index and middle immediately probing at his velvet hole. One eager finger wriggled in, followed shortly thereafter by its partner, a sharp inhale of air accompanying the quiet, wet noises of his actions. "G-gods above, I'm..." Naruto stopped, focusing on his own heat, his ass tugging on his digits with gusto, entreating for more stimulation, fingers pushing and probing against sensitive inner walls. It took only two or three shoves before his opening was swallowing both fingers down to their bases, Naruto's eyebrows bent in pleasure and coos carrying ecstasy. It was certainly a warmup exercise the boy was familiar with.

"Yeah, that's a good boy...," the clone chittered, walking forward on his knees towards Naruto, cock in hand and shameless gaze gulping everything he saw, his own ass suckling against his fingers, his cock drooling and red, his body tugging up in erratic jerks of pleasure, his voice singing to anyone that would listen.

"Sh-shut up and hurry..." Naruto protested, withdrawing his fingers but leaving the hand idle there, spreading himself open as he rest on one elbow, the other hand now spreading a cheek in anticipation.

"Heheh, now _I'm_ the one that's supposed to hurry?" the clone joked.

"Why are you pretending we're anything other than literally the same person oh my Lords come here and shove it in me **_fuck_**."

*****

The storm had officially become just that--a storm. Before this moment, it was easy to disregard the weather as potentially bad, or approaching; the heavy plops of rainwater unrelenting across the forest saw to the recognition of the system's true intensity. Whips of wind carried with them a cascade of drops, each one fatter and colder than they had been just minutes before. The thunder became a constant muttered growl through the sky; though, lightning was still sparse, Kakashi got the impression it was looming.

Of all the mornings to have to retire early to his tent.

He was thorougly clean and thoroughly maudlin at this point, pausing for a moment to recall how long he'd be here at the river. About ten or so minutes?

_Ugh. It's only going to take five or so to return, I should stall just a bi_ \--

A lightning strike crackled vicious and booming behind him, the thunder it brought all but concurrent with the blinding flash of light; it was close, easily less than a mile.

. _..I should return to the tent immediately_.

Of course, allowing the boy the privacy necessary to do what it was that he needed was of the utmost priority to Kakashi; unfortunately for this moment, his own survival was, also, of the utmost importance--just barely squeaking by in a scale of priorities.

The tired man strode out of the river and back to his clothes, taking the now-soaked towel around his waist and merely holding his garments close and tight to his chest; _if I put them on right now, they're just going to get just as soaked as I am; at least once I'm back to our campsite, I can use... some combination of jutsu to dry everything off,_ he rationalized. A quick dispelling of the earlier barrier, and again he was off, a maelstrom of emotions and worry, both for his safety and for the awkward encounter he was certain he was about to endure.

_Perhaps I shouldn't have wished so intently for more distracting conditions_ , he bleakly mused, hurdling though thrashing branches and slaps of rainwater, carefully attending to his footing and his surroundings. In the distance he saw it--his cursed panacea, the tent sitting there flush against the sheer mountainside.

All in all, Naruto genuinely _had_ selected a good stakeout; sure, the rain still assaulted the pinpoint of a tent in the distance of his vision, but not the wind; no overhanging limbs meant little change of falling branches (or lightning strikes).

It was going to be a safe place to wait the storm out, he told himself.

He followed the shear facing of the cliff once he could approach it; true to his earlier scheme, he used a quick combination of a barrier, a small fire and a strong gust to at least dry his clothes to the point of wearability, gratefully slipping the towel off and his shirt and pants back on. And if nothing else, it killed another minute or two; but the combination was erratic and unstable--much to his chagrin, he sincerely needed to return to that tent.

A few minutes early.

As soon as he felt within reasonable earshot of the tent, he shouted loud, "Naruto? Naruto! I have to come back early! It's the weather!"

*****

"C'mon, hahh, say it," Naruto's clone teased, his length slamming deep in and out of his originator's squeezing opening, Naruto on his back and the copy atop of him, gruffly pushing his thighs up at the knees, leering right in front of the original's face, "I know you want--hahh--to...!"

Naruto had always been the vocal type--especially so in matters of intimacy. The boy squirmed beneath himself, feeling that intense heat and pressure insisting itself in his gut upon each thrust his clone offered, entrance sore but needing and determined, and he _moaned_. He chirped, he cooed, he whimpered; for want of better phrasing, Naruto was certainly, in _all_ matters, the type to never shut the fuck up. But little of the noise the boy produced was coherent language.

His clone sat on his heels, letting his grip slip to Naruto's knees, admiring his fuzzy thighs on his hands' journey down to the boy's handlebar hips (Naruto quickly found a home for his legs, hitching his heels around the clone's waist); he gave a few sly thrusts before again reiterating, "Naruto-!"

"Hahh--ha--what..?!," the boy barked between desperate, pleasured pants of air.

"S-say his name--!," he clone coaxed, punctuating his thought with a sly little thrust.

"F-for the love of...!" the boy groaned in frustration, but his thought was soon interrupted; one of his copy's hands relinquished its grip and slipped around the boy's cock, giving a couple graceless pumps, eliciting with them groans from the blond.

"F-fuck, Naruto, I-I'm close, you're close--hahh--we need to hurry _and I know it will get you off_ , " the clone protested, mercilessly jacking his companion's dick, hips never pausing in their rolls, shoving his rod deep in Naruto's relentless heat, both faces pleasure-twisted.

Naruto offered only a frustrated groan and a buck of his hips at the stroking; he wasn't _wrong_ of course. He almost certainly couldn't be--being himself, and all that. But skies above was it still embarrassing. He muttered, and though the words he said offered no concession, his tone seemed to do just that; he asked, "...c-can you reach the t-toolkit and get me a t-tissue, fuck..."

The clone wordlessly complied, not breaking his intense rhythm for even a moment, hand jacking Naruto off sweeping back and retrieving a tissue in record time. He didn't ask for further instruction; instead, that hand returned to Naruto's swollen length, capping his head with the tissue and holding onto his shaft, keeping it in place.

"All set, hahh, now..." the clone leaned forward, hand again slipping in the crook of Naruto's knee and shoving his well-used ass that much further off the tent ground, the other steady on his member, leering deep and above the original Naruto once more; he groaned, feeling the throbbing in his own cock intensify with each passing moment, "N-Naruto... kun... I'm close-!"

"Oh, _fuck_..." Naruto whimpered, his own junk throbbing in response, "Me too..."

"Me too, _hmm_ , Naruto-kun...?," the clone huffed, leaning in close to his partner's ear, each motion, each touch hitching both parties' breaths into useless noises.

"K..."

Growling in his ear, again the clone pushed the issue, cooing, "Is N-Naruto-kun going to c-cum for me, hahh?"

Naruto, finally surrending--though at first, weakly, flustered--whimpered back to himself, "Y-yes, K...Kakashi, I'm so close...!"

"Oooh, _good_ , good boy, Naruto-kun-!" his clone chuckled between moans, pounding away in ecstasy, "I-I can't hold on much longer, be a good little thing and cum-- _ooh_ \--with your sensei, okay?"

Naruto groaned in delight at the words, the first utterance of that forbidden name filling him with such unrivaled pleasure. Every moment he grew more sensitive, his clone knowing exactly where to aim him sharp thrusts inside him to hit his every little sweet spot, his ass beginning to grab and suckle that much harder on his clone's rod as his orgasm approached.

He cooed desperately--quietly, but desperately-- through breathless words, "K-Kaka-sensei, I'm going to cum--!"

"Oh _fuck_ me too, shit shit shit I'm cu--aaahh--!" his clone's words cut short from all-insisting pleasure, his orgasm accosting every faculty he had. His throbbing cock pumped his seed into Naruto's spent ass, still buried deep, milking himself with shallow strokes as he came.

The burst of heat in his lower gut shoved Naruto over the edge himself; his cock lept to life--though still held by his clone--twitching as he came, moaning sweetly into the air while his tip spilled its cum directly into the waiting tissue in ferocious bursts, ballooning the thin paper in time with his pumping seed in an obvious bulge.

The duo's motions, words, and thoughts ebbed, coming to a quick rest. Naruto's clone daintily retracted his hands and guided Naruto's feet back on the ground, grumbling an understood signal as he carefully withdrew his length from the boy. The original scooped the tissue off his head and in his somber grip; _I can just throw it outside real quick_.

His clone pat him on the thigh one good reassuring time, offering what may have originally been a laugh, but far too mixed with pleasure to be considered as such anymore.

"See? I told you if we hurried w--"

From the distance, they both heard it.

_Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no._

"Naruto? Naruto! I have to come back early! It's the weather!"

_Now that actually is Kaka-sensei's voice._

Panic. Panic seized the duo, flushed cheeks draining ghoulish pale in horrid realization.

"Okay. Okay, think, quick, uuuuhh, here--" the clone scrambled, throwing Naruto a second tissue, "clean up a little, j-just worry about the lube, and I'll--"

"Just worry about the lube?! What about the c--"

"I _'m a shadow clone, idiot,_ that means _all of me_ is, that's just really really well-molded chakra, it'll go away as soon as you dispel me. But the lube sure as shit won't, but uuuuh, you, you do that and I'll... straighten everything up and..."

Naruto nodded fast, tenderly attending to some of the lube smeared between his thighs and cheeks; it was a quick and dirty job, but it'd have to do for now (so much for that bath, huh). He wrestled his pants back on with a quickness, and his shirt back down, palms sweeping over himself in a totemistic manner to at least try and make himself look slightly less, well, thoroughly fucked.

His clone scrambled to smooth down bed mats, readjust supplies their escapades had rearranged, generally tidy up a bit. Both Narutos eyes were wide in sheer terror and moving faster than either had ever before.

"Uh, question!, " Naruto lowered his voice, "if we could hear him, he can see us--w-what do I do with my... tissues?! I can't throw them out, he'll see it!"

The clone paused, then donned a stoic expression; he quickly snapped up three more tissues and grabbed the original soiled two; he tucked the dirty ones within the clean and tightly bundled everything up, going to return the whole mess to his toolkit, preempting any potential reply with a harsh whisper, " _I know, I know,_ it's gross, it's really gross, but just hide them for now and throw them away later, okay?"

"Y-yeah."

The duo nodded assent. It would seem the crime scene was mostly visually corrected; Naruto chirped quietly, "Okay! One last check."

The clone sat on his knees directly adjacent from Naruto, scanning his appearance. He reached over and corrected details as he went--straightened his headband, fussed with his hair, rubbed a little errant saliva off Naruto's cheeks, adjusted his jacket--before giving a heroic nod.

"You're as good as you're gonna be!"

"Okay! Er, thank you, y'know."

The clone saluted, "Good luck!"

With a nod and a sign, Naruto's clone dispelled into a mote of swirling, fading chakra.

Alone--if only for a moment--Naruto again took stock of the scene before him. Sure, he was sweaty, and sure, the tent was a bit musty, but all in all; the scene of the crime was mostly returned to its initial appearance. And though his spirit seized at hearing those familiar zipper-ticks, he assured himself that the act was _fairly_ well concealed; he hadn't been moaning too horribly loud, plus--the rain was muffling the entire situation. So, when his sensei stuck his head through the zipper-flap, shielding himself with a damp towel while he crawled back to dry safety, Naruto even allowed himself a bit of a sense of smug satisfaction. _A pretty well-masked crime, if I do say so myself._

Ah, if sight was the only sense Naruto needed to be concerned about.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's attempt at hiding his misdeeds are a miserable failure. Kakashi's nose doesn't give the man an option whether or not he assesses the crime scene; not to mention, his unwilling inspection reveals even more about his companion than he would have ever guessed (or, perhaps, hoped).
> 
> It isn't long until even Naruto can figure out at least vaguely what has his sensei in his malaise, and he feels obligated to offer an awkward apology. Kakashi accepts it and, in continuation of the theme of good decisions the copy-nin makes today, offers them both some sake to pass the time.

Kakashi Hatake. The man of a thousand jutsu, the copy ninja, the shinobi of the stolen Sharingan--his reputation and his aptitude invariably precede him in every endeavor. He was a glowing pride of Konoha, in no small part to his remarkably quick thinking and his cool head, allowing him to be quickly thrown into chaotic, high-stakes situation and calmly execute a solution--a skill that has an unfortunately high rate of application in the life of an ex-ANBU member. While the man didn't like to ruminate on the many times his poker face and swift thinking saved him (or his comrades), of course, he remembered the most outstanding of these incidences.

If one were to ask Kakashi to rank the hardest situations he'd had to use those skills to get out of, he'd probably recall, in a third slot, a time during his ANBU days in which he was on a long-standing espionage mission in a hostlie nation-state; a fellow member of the Hidden Leaf had been captured by the government, and he successfully convinced the general to release his compatriot while maintaining his long running cover, saving both his friend and mission. Second? He would likely muse about the time negotiations among the five great nations seemed especially tenuous. Breakdown among them would have certainly led to war; through a rapidly-executed disinformation campaign coordinated throughout the townships, he was able to sway popular opinion away from acts of preemptive aggression in each, almost singlehandedly preventing another Great War and saving countless lives with his quick wit.

The first would be this moment, in which he opened the flap to he and Naruto's shared tent and suppressed his reaction at which he there discovered.

He just managed to slip his head through the gap, towel still partially shielding himself, and--well, the man was thankful for the concurrent thunderstrike; it gave plausible deniability to the choked start he squeezed back.

**_What in this wild endless world happened in this godforsaken tent in my absence oh my Lords what.... even..._ **

For once, even _Kakashi's_ mind was wordless. He shook his head, deciding to dissect this maelstrom in a moment, letting himself the rest of the way in the shelter. There he found Naruto, sitting crosslegged, both hands tucked tidy in his lap; the boy's face was flushed and sweaty (not that that, specifically, surprised the man). Naruto coughed, voice cracking a beat, "Kaka-sensei! Y-you're early."

"Mm. Apologies, the, uh. Weather. The storm is worsening, I had to, " he offered an apologetic smile, one that successfully denied the inner reality Kakashi was experiencing.

"Tch, of course, like there'd be any other reason _you'd_ be _early_."

He dignified the jab with only a quick glare, expression softening to a more musing one in just a beat, continuing, "Looks like we're going to have to ride this one out, Naruto."

He placed the towel in a corner, lying on his side, taking a moment to fish Icha Icha out of his tools, adding, "Might as well get comfortable."

"Hah, of course," Naruto squeaked, wordlessly prying the man's mood for any hints of suspicion. His eyes weren't subtle in their dance across his old sensei.

Kakashi didn't reply. In all honesty, he was likely at his limit at being able to bluff the reality of his bafflement into nonexistence. Ever since the first moment he entered this accursed lair, his sensitive nose was _languishing_. The tent was a disaster. It was the sort of disaster hard for one without his nasal capabilities to truly comprehend; this place was a veritable _crime scene_. It was the sort the detectives take a step back from, agog, understanding that a crime occurred, but the evidence providing enormous, novel questions. The sort of crime scene they'll talk about at the precinct for decades. Kakashi was a parent returning home to a house their child threw a party in in their leave--the basics of what occurred are perfectly evident! But each step, each uncovered detail offers only more questions than answers; why is there a goat? How did three pair of panties make their way onto the ceiling fan? What is the bag labeled "medical waste" in the refrigerator?! Why is the house _painted a different color?!_

The copy-nin was going to **_need a moment._**

Okay, Naruto's... scent. That one was wholly expected, and the main one the main had steeled himself to endure prior to his departure. He knew the boy was going to relieve his arousal, and he knew he was going to be able to smell Naruto's sweat and his heavy musk more than he would care to (or, admit that he would care to). That was a given. But to this _degree_?! Every inch, every piece of fabric in the small room was absolutely saturated with his old student's heat, like he had been wallowing for days in it.

But the olfactory forensics offered more clues, and more questions. After the initial wave of the boy's musk he... oh, he grumbled, wincing his eyes shut for a moment, still on his hip and feigning reading as he made heads or tails of this. It was an acrid and bitter smell that proceeded, just barely tinged with a cast of salt ( _unsurprising, considering the volume of ramen that boy consumes_ ), just as aggressive as the blond's musk but far more localized, concentrated, and... _Lords_ , he muttered. It was still warm.

He wasn't sure precisely _where_ Naruto had decided to hide his ejaculate, but Kakashi was certain of its presence, its volume, and its... recent time of emission.

While haunting to the silver-haired tortured soul, those odors alone would have painted a lurid, if straightforward picture! Naruto masturbated more enthusiastically than Kakashi expected, he interrupted him, and he didn't have a chance to discard his murder weapon ( _he should have just thrown it out of the tent. The storm would have taken care of it._ ) But no, of _course_ Kakashi couldn't have a simple life, he would muse to himself. Of course there must, for some taunting reason, be more!

 _Petroleum_. And... glycerin? Why the Hell did Kakashi smell so much petroleum. His lower-brain sneered the obvious reason; his higher brain immediately shouted it down, ignoring it, stuffing it in a foot locker and sitting fat atop it. It was neither all-consuming, like Naruto's musk, nor some localized agent, like Naruto's cum; it was radiating, shifting, sifting through the spacing in lazy bands, the scent of petroleum undeniably mingled with musk and... _fluids_. The fluids produced in passion and enthusiasm when a... particular sort... of sexual congress occurred.

That one made Kakashi's breath hitch.

 _What did that boy need with this... volume... of lube. What was he..._  
  
"D-do you think our clients are gonna be too upset by the delay...?" Naruto offered, pushing the awkward silence aside for a second in a feeble attempt to cultivate a little _normalcy_ in this tent, shifting from one of his sides to the other, pushing his body a bit closer to Kakashi incidentally--another growl of thunder interrupting the end of his sentence.

Kakashi freed his gaze from his novella to his companion to reply, tilting to look over a shoulder, exhausted eyes breaking through his still-wet tresses, before muttering, "Can't say I particularly care either way."

"Hehehe," the boy laughed, a caricature of a laugh, one that's attempt at subtlety only further underscored its proverbial three-children-in-a-trenchcoat properties.

Kakashi's pupils pinned in the most imperceptible of ways. A reaction muffled, but still evident. He twisted his head back to his book, widened eyes now out of the boy's view.

_That **accursed** voiceless. Glottal. Fricative._

The "h" noise, that phoneme, the utterance that hitched the throat and dragged the deeper throes of a person's breath along with it, was one of the absolute last things the tired man needed in that moment. Hell, even without it, a parlor trick Kakashi would often perform was telling one their last two meals from simply a whiff of their breath! And that trick was perfectly functional for _hours_ after consumption!

Telling where Naruto's mouth had been minutes before was, therefore, a _pedestrian_ task! One Kakashi made no conscious attempt to decipher, but the fake laugh towards him opened that Pandora's box in full view, unavoidably, for the copy-nin, carrying with it the scent of musk and sweat and... the old man winced, shaking his head two tight, constrained times.

He tried to talk himself down. He tried--Lords did he--to divert his thoughts, to dispute the reality before him, to argue, to call into question, to cast doubt on that which his wretched eyes had seen--but no matter the many paths his scrambling mind attempted to scurry away, each time, they stumbled to the same stark, stark conclusion.

There were very, _very_ few heterosexual explanations for the smell of cock on the boy's breath.

_This can't be happening_

Kakashi's eyes winced closed.

_where is my godforsaken peppermint oil_

Naruto could see _something_ apprehend his old sensei. He couldn't get a good handle on _what_ it was; but sure as anything, he saw a shudder apprehend his gaunt form, then reaching to calmly rifle through his tools, retreating his still-empty hand after a moment. Hm. Naruto sniffed, rubbing his nose, nervously again inspecting his environment for the eightieth time that afternoon; still, he saw no hide nor hair out of place! But... eurgh.

It was a bit, um, _musty_ in the tent, even to Naruto's amateur nose.

"...could I perhaps check if I misplaced an item in your affects?"

" _I would strongly prefer that ya didn't,_ " the blond yelped back, jerking to shove his tools behind his back deeper (to whatever use it served in this tiny space). Espionage would likely never be the boy's specialty.

The copy-nin grumbled, voice harried in spite of himself, "Then could you perhaps check for something in your bag? A small glass vial of clear liquid?"

"Er, y-yeah, " he offered, turning at the waist to do at least a vague facsimile of the action. Naruto folded the flap open gingerly, glancing within, grimacing at the bundle of tissue resting atop the other contents. Hesitant digits did their best to navigate through the minefield, but his constitution couldn't quite steel him enough to search with any amount of sincerity--certainly not thoroughly enough to uncover the bottle of essential oil he had, indeed, cleaned away into the wrong bag in his frenzy. But, even his constrained actions--Hell, even the mere act of opening the bag--was enough to again waft a shock-wave of Naruto's emissions into his companion's long-suffering nose.

"Um," he coughed, "I'm not... seeing... anything like that in here, Kaka-sensei, sorry."

An enormous groan sang unvoiced within the silver-haired elder.

"Well. Thank you for checking anyway, I must have misplaced the damned thing..." he languished again, suppressing the instinct to tear this wretched tent apart to find that antidote so desperately needed. Among many other instincts he suppressed at the time.

Naruto lifted a jacket at rest behind him, asking "What even was it you were lookin' for?"

After a contemplative pause, Kakashi offered, "...my peppermint oil."

"Aahh," the boy replied. It would only be a few seconds before the full implication of his sensei's quest for that specific item in this specific moment dawned within him, carrying with it a tingling blush rising on his face.

_Kaka-sensei only needs that to.... blot out......... smells..........._

His eyes winced shut in a slamming wave of embarrassment, his body collapsing within itself in a shrinking support. _Dummy, dummy, dummy, y **ou make fun of him for being an actual dog at least four times a day, how could you space that fact about him, rookie mistake, you idiot, oh my Lords aaaahh**_ **.**

A thunderclap split the silence once more, loud and sharp enough to illicit reactions from both shinobi; the heavy rain echoed its symphony against the canvas in up-tempo bursts, loud pattering droning nothingness, hazy and white. And though both would likely deny it, the unspoken uneasiness permeating the space slumped heavy on them both; the rain's monotony seemed to engage idle thought effortlessly in the duo--even Naruto.

 _What an awkward situation,_ the boy mused, weighing options; all the while, Kakashi lay in sacrilegious meditation despite all his best efforts. He did his dead-level best to focus on anything at all, anything other than the ceaseless flood of lewd information flowing through him. But...

 _there's no way around it. he must have created a shadow clone and..._ , the copy-nin's pulse flicked within him palpably, pulling a breath and a start, a fleeting glimpse through his mind before the words even formed, _...fucked himself_. The aroma of the area being that which it was made the lusty figures in his mind all the more vivid--given not only visual information, but theretofore forbidden knowledge of his former students musk. World-weary grey eyes glower down to his lower anatomy; again, it began to stir to life--frankly, it was a miracle he'd kept his bloodflow so northward to begin with. He disciplined himself internally-- _not now, you. Not. Now._

 _he must have sucked his own dick as well,_ the intrusive thought sneered back at him, forcing another breath to trip in his throat and another twitch to heft his equipment.

Naruto was absorbed in strategizing his next action, far too self-involved to notice the uncomfortable shifting and stirring from his partner. A restless hand found its home on the back of the boy's neck, rubbing a little.

 _There's no way he can't smell how funky it is in here if I can, even a little,_ ugh, he weighed (though, in the same manner the color-blind may heavily underestimate the resplendence of color in a piece, so too did Naruto underestimate the veritable flip-book of information the scent provided Kakashi). _So like, there's no option here where he doesn't know about it, just one where I don't mention it at all...but is that really better?_

The blond cleared his throat lightly.

_I-I mean. We're both men, y'know? And he's a huge pervert. He gets it. It'll be... less awkward if I at least acknowledge it, yeah?_

"K-Kaka-sensei?"

There was a moment, the old dog brushing his nose with the top of his hand on his way to look over his shoulder, muttering, "Hmm?"

Sheepishly, eyes squinted and remorseful, he offers, "...s-sorry, y'know."

"For?"

The boy groaned, looking pathetically down to his lap, "W-well, I'm not a dog and even I can... uh, tell that it's. Stuffy. In here and I know it's my fault, so! I'm sorry, y'know."

Kakashi's mind stumbled at the frank statement; so the bell was rang! So it went. Unmoving, speaking with a delicacy, with deliberation, he replies, "...It's okay, Naruto. I was giving you twenty minutes for a _reason_ , hmm?"

Naruto sputtered, "I'm sorry you _what_?!"

His nose turned again into his book, saying, "...well, you wouldn't turn towards me when you woke up. And ahh, well. Scent is an interesting thing, Naruto. It's just--"

"--molecules coming off things--"

"...and things can encourage their release, su--"

"Such as heat, yeah, we've been through it."

"...Well. Then. I trust you're a smart enough boy to take that one to its logical conclusion, ne?"

Those ocean eyes stared upwards in a moment of intense problem-solving, deductive skills bouncing with pings of his gaze. It took him a moment, but with a grimace, it dawned on the boy how the "How Scent Works" spiel was imminently relevant vis-a-vis their present scenario.

_Has he seriously always been able to smell when I have a boner oh my Lord. Or is it just 'cause he was locked up in a super tight space with me...?! Uuugh, that's..._

His brain wanted to reach for negative words--he wanted to spit that it was gross, that it was perverted, that it was embarrassing! But, much to his chagrin, with a stirring in his groin, his mind reluctantly huffed ... _that's kind of hot, damnit._

"G-geez, s-sorry either way, Kaka-sensei, " he coughed, rising blush in both his face and his voice, moments after admitting to the object of his prior arousal that he was masturbating extremely recently.

The copy-nin gave a dismissive hand gesture, his upheld hand held stiff, bent at the wrist a few dips, saying, "It's nothing. You're allowed to do what you will in your free time, hm?," his tone exactly as mellow as he wasn't. He shifted his hips, forehead wrinkled in frustration, trying to guide his arousal as out-of-sight as he could manage as discreetly as possible. The hope to avoid this affliction was long, long gone; even if the boy hadn't admitted his crimes to Kakashi, the orchestra of olfactory information buzzing through him, insistent and gnawing, kept igniting impulses, blurting desires into the pious man's mind. So he would like to think he was pious, damned if he wasn't _trying_ to be.

Naruto clapped, shouting, "Okay! But! How about uh, th-the weather. How long do you think it's gonna keep raining like this, yeah?"

"Hours, honestly," he allowed, catching the assist on the conversational diversion.

"Ugh, are you serious?"

"Maa, it hasn't let up a bit yet, and, " he cleared his throat, tone softening, "it, ah, smelled like rain all of yesterday. That usually means a very large, enduring storm system."

"A-ah. Well... that sucks."

"Mm," he muttered, hand diving back into his bag. He may not be able to find his oil, but he _damn well_ knew where his flask was. And while it may not be as direct a solution to his problem as the oil would be, the alcohol could at least help his mental affliction; drunken disorientation would likely at least compete for the real estate that his fantasies were currently occupying.

The flask felt heavy in his grip; _full. At least something's gone right this morning_ , he mused. His thumb swept the reeded edge of the flask's cap (connected by a leather strap), unscrewing it off the bottlemouth's threads. Guarding his face with one hand, he slipped a clandestine few gulps of the sake, exhaling breathy before offering the open container behind him, asking, "Sake?"

"Tch, Kakashi!," he said with a start, looking mischievously at the container, "Aren't you supposed to be a good role model? Or like, at least pretend to be one?"

"It's just an offer. Figured it might help pass the time, " he calmly replied.

"H-hey," Naruto coughed, snapping the bottle from the man's grip, saying "I can give you shit and also accept your offer at the same time," as he did. He took a few swigs of the tepid liquid, exhaling with a shuddered cry at the harsh burn down his teetotaler throat, pushing the bottle back into the other grip with a, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Kakashi chirped. In a lowered tone, he continued, "...really, don't mention it. The other jounin would probably have my head for giving you that..."

"Oh man and _that_ sure would be a change of pace from what you're used to."

" _You're welcome_."

The boy chuckled, a genuinely relaxed one so difference from the forced ones earlier. Neither had eaten all day--not to mention, while otherwise well-rounded, Naruto had little experience in the imbibing arts. And while the sake mercifully took the edge off of Kakashi's meandering thoughts, quieting their chuckling intrusions, softening his reactions, it hit his companion with far, far greater force.

Naruto wasn't drunk! But he was absolutely a bit inebriated.

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his sleeve, nestling both hands back in his lap idly. Bored eyes bounced around the tent, rocking in a distracted way.

"This is why I've said you should look into reading more, Naruto-kun," Kakashi said under his breath, eyes unmoving from their page in Icha Icha, "it'd give you something to do."

"Yeah, you _would_ say that, " the blond chuckled, "Bet you think I should look into this 'really great' series called Icha Icha, too."

Kakashi looked over his shoulder to see Naruto sticking his tongue out at him through a smile; a twinge of defensiveness drove from him a half-playful, "And what's wrong with Icha Icha?!"

"Uuugh, I'm _sorry_ Kaka-sensei but they're just so boring! And cheesy. And cliche! I love Jiraiya-sensei too but _I'm sorry they're not great._ "

Kakashi--poor, poor Kakashi--scoffed in a defiant voice, alcohol-dulled impulse control allowing him to quip, "Well, they're _certainly_ better than whatever drivel or smut _you're_ reading, Naruto-kun."

"And just how the Hell would you know that?!"

Kakashi froze. Time dilated around his thoughts as the enormity of his miscalculation made itself apparent.

_Indeed, Kakashi. What a perfectly pertinent question._

_How **would** you know what sort of smut the boy is reading._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No "real" smut this chapter but my comrades do I promise the next two chapters are gonna make up for it lol. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, person reading gay Naruto smut today! No judgment, I *wrote* it today.


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